Unchecking Boxes
The two most important days in our lives are the day we are born and the day we die. Everything in between is checking boxes.
Graduating from the right school, landing the perfect job, choosing a life partner, having the requisite number of kids, living in the biggest house, driving the newest car...
There are two things that start us on the path of checking boxes: Guilt and Fear.
Guilt is a completely useless emotion. Fear is what rules everything we do or don't do. Remove guilt and fear and the obstacles disappear.
As children, we want to please our parents. As adults, we want to fit in. We want to check all the right boxes so we can tell ourselves we are normal and happy. We are afraid to offend or disappoint. We are afraid to discover who and what we really are. We keep checking boxes until we realize it's too late.
Maybe college wasn't for you and your parents didn't take it so well. Or maybe they did. So what, if they are unhappy that's their problem, not yours. If they are happy, consider it a bonus and be grateful. Maybe you have nothing in common with the spouse who "looked good on paper." Maybe you don't want to have kids. Maybe your dream job isn't lucrative but is immensely satisfying.
Act now! Action is the key to moving forward and unchecking the boxes. You don't have to be in a relationship if you are unhappy. You is all you need. You don't require a huge circle of friends. You don't have to participate in family drama. You don't have to fret over fitting into the jeans you wore in high school. You DO have to love yourself. You DO have to be kind. You DO have to be forgiving, starting with yourself.
There is a wild child inside of you that isn't ready to check all the boxes. Listen to her. Uncheck some boxes. See what happens.
Thank you for reading my blog!
Just keep swimming!
Graduating from the right school, landing the perfect job, choosing a life partner, having the requisite number of kids, living in the biggest house, driving the newest car...
There are two things that start us on the path of checking boxes: Guilt and Fear.
Guilt is a completely useless emotion. Fear is what rules everything we do or don't do. Remove guilt and fear and the obstacles disappear.
As children, we want to please our parents. As adults, we want to fit in. We want to check all the right boxes so we can tell ourselves we are normal and happy. We are afraid to offend or disappoint. We are afraid to discover who and what we really are. We keep checking boxes until we realize it's too late.
Maybe college wasn't for you and your parents didn't take it so well. Or maybe they did. So what, if they are unhappy that's their problem, not yours. If they are happy, consider it a bonus and be grateful. Maybe you have nothing in common with the spouse who "looked good on paper." Maybe you don't want to have kids. Maybe your dream job isn't lucrative but is immensely satisfying.
Act now! Action is the key to moving forward and unchecking the boxes. You don't have to be in a relationship if you are unhappy. You is all you need. You don't require a huge circle of friends. You don't have to participate in family drama. You don't have to fret over fitting into the jeans you wore in high school. You DO have to love yourself. You DO have to be kind. You DO have to be forgiving, starting with yourself.
There is a wild child inside of you that isn't ready to check all the boxes. Listen to her. Uncheck some boxes. See what happens.
Thank you for reading my blog!
Just keep swimming!
Here's to unchecking boxes and creating your own boxes that you want to check off! Love the Bowie quote by the way.
ReplyDelete