Happiness is Relative

Last night I caught myself thinking I would be happy only if... What?! I've been a little blue lately. Worried about finances, feeling lonely, being blocked in my writing, and just overall feeling lethargic and useless. I had to marvel at the selfishness of that thought, I would be happy only if...

Not too many years ago I was sleeping on the floor in a rented room. I couldn't afford a bed; all I had was a car and two jobs. I remember being happy during that time. When we moved into our new house the dryer didn't work and the punch work wasn't finished; drywall dust coated the clothes that were hanging all over the house to dry. I was happy, ecstatic even, to be in this little house. My happiest childhood memory is of camping out in the forest and plunging into a cool green lake. Not the trips to Disney World; those memories don't even come close.

I decided to make a list of the things that make me happy now. The spectacular sunsets over Lake Harris that I can see right from my living room. Spending hours in a bubble bath reading a good book. When my husband calls me Angel. Comfortable conversation with friends. The sound of a child's laughter. Taking an afternoon nap with my dog, falling asleep to the sound of rain.

Pretty simple things. I believe how we react to whatever is going on around us determines whether we are happy or not. I have been feeling unhappy in part because of things that are beyond my control to change. I am going to work at letting those feelings go. Those things will either resolve themselves or they won't; I will not waste my energy on them. I will pay more attention to those things that do make me happy; I will accept them and treasure them and recognize them as gifts meant only for me.

We all have our troubles. I wouldn't trade mine for anyone else's, no matter how bad they sometimes seem. Would you?

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